Have you ever found yourself at a point where you felt the entire world was against you? Did it feel like no one was on your side? The more you prayed, trusted and believed, the worse things got?
That was me on Wednesday evening. I felt like everything was crumbling on top of me and I had absolutely nowhere to hide.
I did the only thing I could do at that point, I had a chat with God. Not pray, but had a direct conversation with Him. I have so many questions I need Him to answer me. Yes, we grew up hearing we must not ask Him questions. I don't know about you but I for one, I ask Him. He is my Father after all. What I do not do is doubt His competence or love towards me.
I had a payment to make on the 31st of January and I knew I did not have it, but I said to the person, you will get it. So my conversation with God was also in regards to this situation.
Just when I was about to start stressing, I got up and started to read my bible. A few hours later, two different people paid in money. I immediately transferred it and I said to my Father in heaven, I won't ask anyone. I am waiting for you. Before I went to bed, the balance was sorted. I had to ask the person, "are you sure"? and I got a "YES".
I could not really sleep because I was so full of joy. My friend Sylvester always says "you and your last minute miracle" lol. Honestly, God makes ways for me just at the last minute.
Yesterday (Thursday), a group of amazing people who felt I was worth it (I still don't know what exactly I did right) gave me a surprise that made me cry from joy. I cried until my eyes were red. That feeling of love, that feeling of appreciation. It can never be bought. I just kept saying "thank you Abba Father" over and over as no other words could come out of my mouth.
I am still passing through my storm at the moment, but one thing is for sure. I am not alone, even though I felt all alone these past weeks. He ( my Father in heaven) has shown to me that He is with me. He hears and sees my silent cries, and heartache. He has sent me helpers through the past weeks that I cannot begin to thank them enough.
I don't know who I may be speaking to. But know that no matter what storm, or phase you are going through, you are not alone. You can never be alone. There are people who care, love and appreciate you. There is most importantly, our heavenly Father who loves you beyond measure.
Stand tall and please keep the Sparkle on. I almost lost my Sparkle, but I am determined to keep it glowing.