Tuesday, 18 September 2018

ENLIGHTENMENT: THE CHANGED ROLE AND INVOLVEMENT OF THE DAD.

A few months ago a male friend of mine went on a family vacation to Nigeria, they had a lot of fun enjoying the heat and the atmosphere. It had been a hugely successful family vacation but an observation had him thinking.

On one of their days out with his wife, he had been carrying his daughter when he overheard people around him talking about them, "How can she be walking around and her husband is carrying the child", "This one has been turned to the woman", " All these men from "abroad" have been turned into women". The talk was endless.

In some areas in London, I have heard comments like "see that man pushing a buggy with the woman walking beside him, they have turned him into a woman"

In the society we live in, (here in England) there is absolutely nothing wrong with a man taking care of his child by pushing the buggy or stroller, even carrying the baby is cool and normal.

In some other cultures and traditions, the woman, being the mother of the home cares and nurtures the children while the man provides for them.
A man carrying the child whilst the mother/wife walks along doing nothing is therefore not something that is easily accepted.

Over a decade ago, while in Africa, a male friend helped carry my handbag and it was frowned on by onlookers. Some kissed their teeth so as to let us know they were not happy with what they saw.
If it is okay for a woman to carry a man's bag or briefcase, then why can't a man help or assist a woman carry hers? 

Some other cultures compared with the Western world seems to still be wide apart when it comes to certain values and beliefs. As Africans, some of us still hold on tightly to some beliefs and values which we are not ready to let go of even when we live in the Western world.

I am not saying we have to drop all our values and beliefs, far from it; but there are some things that we may need to let go off to have a better and happier home/family.

Going back to our main discussion, a man carrying his child(ren), I feel it's a good way for him to bond with that child. There are some children (like my friends' child) who would never let anyone else carry them as long as their father is in sight. 
It is also a joint responsibility between both parties to bring up the child(ren), so at any given time any of them (the parents) should be able to care and nurture them, not just the mother.

As a parent, what are your views or ideas in regards to this? Do you see a man pushing a buggy or stroller as a bad thing? Or the man carrying his child and playing with his child in the open as improper?

Do share your honest views and opinions in the comment section. If you have been through such a situation or know someone who has, we would love to hear from you too.

Remember, no matter what happens, Stay Sparkling.✨




#Respectpeople'slifestyle.  #Enlightenment.



2 comments:

  1. I love this, Sisi Alero. Raising a child is a joint responsibility between both parents and men need to be taught that it takes more than putting money on the table to raise a child. Well done. And shame on those who still have myopic perspectives as mentioned above.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Eturuvie. You are so right. It is indeed frustrating that some still have such views.It takes both parents to create the child, it should also take both parents to care for and nurture the child.

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