Watching an elderly couple walking down the high street holding hands, chatting and having a laugh put a smile on my face.
I have always admired couples who have close bonds. Growing up I never truly wanted to get married.
I had seen so many married people who were sad, men and women who were simply coping in their marriages just to please people around them,( yes there still are people in such marriages even now ) and in the end, displease themselves and go through a very sad time.
Then recently, I saw a write up by a senior of mine from secondary school, a blogger and an investment guru, Subomi Plumtre. She wrote about an amazing couple.
This couple happens to be one I grew up to know and admire; my very own pastor -Rev and Mrs. Bosun Ayinde. Just before I came to England, he gave me counseling on marriage and trust me, it has stuck with me ever since.
I recall at some point in life, when I started seeing marriage In a different light, my friends and I in church said if it wasn't Rev Ayinde who handled our wedding then no one else will.
That was how much we admired him and how much he influenced my thoughts towards marriage.
Reading their story again recently brought out a feeling inside of me I had not felt in a long time.
I had almost gotten so used to being independent that deep down I really didn't mind being single.
Do I really want to remain single? The answer is no.
Do I admire people who are married and have kids? Oh yes, I do.
I have received so many lectures from people on why I should get married and also stop being 'picky''.
If you are a single woman out there. Listen to me.......
Do not for any reason feel desperate to settle down with just anyone. Yes, it can be lonely some days. But it's not a permanent situation. If you do want to get married, it will happen. Being single is not a disease. Do not allow people make you think you have an ailment or condition that needs a vaccination or treatment to cure you; which is for you to get married.
On no account should you let people convince you to settle down with who you don't even care about just because you are getting older.
You have to learn to love yourself for who you are. While you wait for your better half to turn up, build yourself, invest in yourself.
Have a plan for yourself. A focus and a target so when the man turns up, he will join you on your journey.
Do not put your life on hold in the name of "I'm miserable and all alone", "nobody loves me".
If you do not learn to love yourself you will not be able to receive that love from anyone.
Be happy. Surround yourself with family and friends that love you; exude positivity.
I was recently asked how I felt about marriage. Because now I know better, I replied "marriage is what I make of it. I see now I can get married and have a happy home. My home does not have to be like the sad ones I saw when I was younger"
So if you are feeling weighed down. Feeling you have gotten too old and maybe you should just have kids and be done with it. Listen, it's never too late. There is time for everything [Ecclesiastics 3: 1-8]
So while you wait, look good, dress nice, give yourself treats, keep that smile on your face. Go on holiday, do something new. Enjoy being single while you can because when you settle down you will not have the same freedom you have now.
Do NOT frustrate yourself, do not give yourself any unnecessary high blood pressure or a migraine. As far as I know, nothing so far has been solved from worrying and thinking.
Trust me, I know (I have a Ph.D. in worrying and thinking).
If you have anything to add, share or comment on, Kindly do so on the comment section.
I am single and I sure do Sparkle.